I have nothing to boast about and yet there is so much pride within me. Wretched, cursed, pride of life. As I battle the flesh, I must remember that there is no fight if I do not try. I will not concede to let the devil have a foothold – my joy will be in holding fast to what I know is True.




“We know then the existence and nature of the finite, because we also are finite and have extension. We know the existence of the infinite, and are ignorant of its nature, because it has extension like us, but not limits like us. But we know neither the existence nor the nature of God, because He has neither extension nor limits.

But by faith we know His existence; in glory we shall know His nature. Now, I have already shown that we may well know the existence of a thing, without knowing its nature.

Who then will blame Christians for not being able to give a reason for their belief, since they profess a religion for which they cannot give a reason? They declare, in expounding it to the world, that it is a foolishness, stultitiam; and then you complain that they do not prove it! If they proved it, they would not keep their word; it is in lacking proofs, that they are not lacking in sense. “Yes, but although this excuses those who offer it as such, and takes away from them the blame of putting it forward without reason, it does not excuse those who receive it.” Let us then examine this point, and say, “God is, or He is not.” But to which side shall we incline? Reason can decide nothing here. There is an infinite chaos which separated us.

But there is here an infinity of an infinitely happy life to gain, a chance of gain against a finite number of chances of loss, and what you stake is finite.

Now, what harm will befall you in taking this side? You will be faithful, honest, humble, grateful, generous, a sincere friend, truthful. Certainly you will not have those poisonous pleasures, glory and luxury; but will you not have others? I will tell you that you will thereby gain in this life, and that, at each step you take on this road, you will see so great certainty of gain, so much nothingness in what you risk, that you will at last recognise that you have wagered for something certain and infinite, for which you have given nothing.

If this discourse pleases you and seems impressive, know that it is made by a man who has knelt, both before and after it, in prayer to that Being, infinite and without parts, before whom he lays all he has, for you also to lay before Him all you have for your own good and for His glory, that so strength may be given to lowliness.”

Blaise Pascal’s Pensees #233



“Of the other tears of humanity with which the earth is soaked from its crust to its center, I will say nothing. I have narrowed my subject on purpose. I am a bug, and I recognize in all humility that I cannot understand why the world is arranged as it is. Men are themselves to blame, I suppose; they were given paradise, they wanted freedom, and stole fire from heaven, though they knew they would become unhappy, so there is no need to pity them…

…Listen! If all must suffer to pay for the eternal harmony, what have the children to do with it, tell me, please? It’s beyond all comprehension why they should suffer, and why they should pay for the harmony. Why should they, too, furnish material to enrich the soil for the harmony of the future?

…Oh, Aloysha, I am not blaspheming! I understand, of course, what an upheaval of the universe it will be, when everything in heaven and earth blends in one hymn of praise and everything that lives and has lived cries aloud, ‘Thou art just, O Lord, for Thy ways are revealed.’ When the mother embraces the fiend who threw her child to the dogs, and all three cry aloud with tears, ‘Thou art just, O Lord!’ Then, of course, the crown of knowledge will be reached, and all will be made clear.”

IV. Rebellion, The Brothers Karamazov



And this, what holds my hope secure.

His righteousness is now mine, and my sin, His.



“Tis not that I did choose Thee,

For Lord, that could not be;

This heart would still refuse Thee,

Hadst Thou not chosen me.

My heart owns none before Thee,

For Thy rich grace I thirst;

This knowing, if I love Thee,

Thou must have loved me first.”

Josiah Conder, 1836.

More pics from Nav Encounters 2010!

MY GROUP, TEAM HEY ITS A PANDA! Flag painting courtesy of yours truly. And check out Jon Sng at the left – Daph suggests he is a Real panda. I would have to agree.

And because I kept prancing in last minute to spoil other team’s group photos, here was my retribution. NO MATTER, LOVE MY TEAM. PANDALICIOUS~

En route of the food haunt, upon finding DURIAN CHEE CHEONG FUN. ZOMG.

Met a friendly man with a friendly pet, SIBERIAN HUSKY PUPPY! SHO KEWT and so human-loving. <3 man’s best friend. (HI MAT IF U ARE READING THIS CAN U SEE THE WHATSAPP BROWSER OPEN ON MY PHONE. Yes this was where I was grumpily texting you that day abt youknowwhat o_o)

THERE IS KOI AT ILLUMA (aka bugis)!!!!!! NEW REVELATION FOR ALL OF US. & Derik’s first time drinking bubble tea!

Channelling my inner lian once again. It seems to be resurfacing quite often nowadays (x-ref SUDDEN HELLO KITTY LOVE)

This is Kristin, and her daughter KARIS!

I played with Karis at the playground and we pretended the world ended while we were safe in a bomb shelter, then we came out to find a new world and decided to start a restaurant selling in&out burgers. LOVE being a kid again, but really sad because I kinda had to think real hard to come up with ‘imaginary’ things and scenarios. When you’re a kid, it just comes to you. GAH. NOOOOOO :(

And this was everyone who was left on the last day! :)

Nav camps always teach me 1. humility 2. service 3. true meaning of love & acceptance. I was really grateful that Daph & Kang Ping were at the camp, in my group for the food haunt (SPGERS SINGLE COMING UP) and Daph for devotions in the morning, cos I have been away from Nav for awhile, and it was nice to have someone there that you are familiar with (and can do random things with. AIRPLANE AIRPLANE SORRY IM LATE~).

At every camp that I go to, I always have one moment where I tell myself, this is why God wanted me to come; this is why I came. My moment for this camp came on the last night, at about 3am in the morning.

I am


I am not what I ought to be. I am not what I want to be. I am not what I hope to be. But still, I am not what I used to be. And by the grace of God, I am what I am.John Newton

And with that soul-stirring thought, off to the Youth Retreat I go!