Shit Moon

11/12/2009

Major spoilers ahead! (but trust me you wouldnt care because YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE WATCHING THIS RIDICULOUS MOVIE)

Worst. Movie. Ever.

I seriously am still struggling between which was worse, the movie itself or Kristen Stewart’s acting. I think I’m leaning towards the latter.

DUDE SERIOUSLY. IT WAS SO BAD THAT IT WASN’T EVEN FUNNY.

Ok actually it was heaps funny post-movie when Yvonne, Jiwon, YJ and I were walking back up and spent like half an hour dissecting the entire movie and its badness.

To summarize:

Yvonne: Its like those bad Pri 1 essays where you write at the end “I woke up, and it was all a dream!” (this happened multiple times in the movie btw. Or wait, did it? Now see, I’m even confused.)

Jiwon: When she was lost in the forest, she was like calling Edward! Edward! And it sounded like Eh! Eh! (cos Kristen Stewart can only recite her lines in a way that themiddleisstrungtogetherwithoutpunctuation)

YJ: I never knew it was possible for so much Nothing to happen in 2 hours and 15 minutes. I just sat there watching a screen. Nothing happened.

Me: KRISTEN STEWART IS SUCH A BAD ACTRESS THE ONLY FACIAL MUSCLES SHE MOVES ARE HER EYEBROWS.

Jiwon: How can they keep saying that they love each other? They don’t even do anything together.

Yvonne: Every scene she is hyperventilating. Hyperventilating conveys all the different emotions.

YJ: “It was like a big gaping hole punched through my heart (quote from movie)”. What a cliche. (Mumbles something in Korean in Jiwon). OMG ITS EVEN CLICHE IN KOREAN. ITS AN INTERNATIONAL CLICHE.

Yvonne, Jiwon, Me: WORST LINES OF THE MOVIE – “You’re so warm. Its a Jacob thing. You’re like your own sun.”

!(*&&^@*!^%^&@%!&^@)!()!???????????

I paid 10 USD to watch NOTHING!!!!!!!

This was the only redeeming factor in the entire movie:

But still it wasn’t worth putting myself through 2 hours and 15 minutes of this movie. Its kinda messed up. I haven’t even got to the part about how morally bad it is in terms of what it teaches kids. For that you can READ THIS.

Ok I just needed to purge myself of the badness that was New Moon. Shiver.

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2 Responses to “Shit Moon”

  1. daph Says:

    that article is hilarious! but so true not just for new moon..

  2. tania Says:

    EEEEEEH IDIOTZ.
    i liked it can. DID YOU READ THE BOOK?! she hyperventilates 10239843898409 TIMES MOAR IN THE BOOK. IT WAS SO MILD ALRD!!
    :O:O
    and aiya i just hate jacobs nose.


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