Major spoilers ahead! (but trust me you wouldnt care because YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE WATCHING THIS RIDICULOUS MOVIE)
Worst. Movie. Ever.
I seriously am still struggling between which was worse, the movie itself or Kristen Stewart’s acting. I think I’m leaning towards the latter.
DUDE SERIOUSLY. IT WAS SO BAD THAT IT WASN’T EVEN FUNNY.
Ok actually it was heaps funny post-movie when Yvonne, Jiwon, YJ and I were walking back up and spent like half an hour dissecting the entire movie and its badness.
Yvonne: Its like those bad Pri 1 essays where you write at the end “I woke up, and it was all a dream!” (this happened multiple times in the movie btw. Or wait, did it? Now see, I’m even confused.)
Jiwon: When she was lost in the forest, she was like calling Edward! Edward! And it sounded like Eh! Eh! (cos Kristen Stewart can only recite her lines in a way that themiddleisstrungtogetherwithoutpunctuation)
YJ: I never knew it was possible for so much Nothing to happen in 2 hours and 15 minutes. I just sat there watching a screen. Nothing happened.
Me: KRISTEN STEWART IS SUCH A BAD ACTRESS THE ONLY FACIAL MUSCLES SHE MOVES ARE HER EYEBROWS.
Jiwon: How can they keep saying that they love each other? They don’t even do anything together.
Yvonne: Every scene she is hyperventilating. Hyperventilating conveys all the different emotions.
YJ: “It was like a big gaping hole punched through my heart (quote from movie)”. What a cliche. (Mumbles something in Korean in Jiwon). OMG ITS EVEN CLICHE IN KOREAN. ITS AN INTERNATIONAL CLICHE.
Yvonne, Jiwon, Me: WORST LINES OF THE MOVIE – “You’re so warm. Its a Jacob thing. You’re like your own sun.”
I paid 10 USD to watch NOTHING!!!!!!!
This was the only redeeming factor in the entire movie:
But still it wasn’t worth putting myself through 2 hours and 15 minutes of this movie. Its kinda messed up. I haven’t even got to the part about how morally bad it is in terms of what it teaches kids. For that you can READ THIS.
Ok I just needed to purge myself of the badness that was New Moon. Shiver.