Seasons of life

10/09/2009

I typed this entire chunk of words and I’ve been trying to process and edit it to convey certain points which I think are important. I think I’ve failed in doing so, because this is an example of a BAD ESSAY where there is no real focus of my argument and its just quite my thoughts intertwined all over the place. I don’t know if you will understand what I am saying, but I write this down to remind myself of the season of life that I am presently in. You don’t have to read it (spare you the torture!); but if you do, I hope some of this, any of this, makes some sense.

xx

My frustrations lie in trying to make people understand my point of view. Trying to make them understand that I am not doubting the fundamental beliefs that we share, that I am not overturning my roots, that I am not essentially any different than I was.

But of course in some aspects I have changed. How can one person possibly stay the same anyway? It is a matter of time before the old mould is cracked and broken, and a new mould has to form, based on the circumstances that one is in, based on the different hands that mould. If you are someone who wants to look back on your life and say, wow I’ve remained the same this entire time, hoorah for me! – then I would say you’ve missed out on life completely.

People change when life happens.

But fundamental choices are still yours to make. Essential values and beliefs are still yours to hold on to, to cling to for dear life, to not want to let go – which is what I hope I can do for the rest of my life. But these values and beliefs get put to test and things that happen can make you waver – are you to close your eyes so tightly and wish that when you open them, these trials will go away?

No. The bible says that trials and tribulations are put in our lives to produce perseverance, so that you will be mature and complete, lacking nothing.

So when life comes a-knocking and you get thrown out of your comfort zone and the life that you’ve always had for the past 21 years of life; when new philosophies are raised and debated, when other people’s perspectives start to make some sense, what do you do?

You stand firm in what you believe. But not blindly. The only way you can stand firm without wavering is if you actually question what you had previously taken forgranted, and then re-evaluate what you’ve been told your entire life; and start to ask yourself why it makes sense for you. God doesn’t joke when He says truths are revealed to us. And I believe they are revealed to us in a personal way, in His own timing.

Never be fed without after which digesting what has been given to you. It might not always be agreeable with you; and just because someone claims that it is nutritious doesn’t always mean it is. Never believe something just because someone said so. There needs to be conviction. Not just of mind, but of heart.

This new generation is all about post-modernism, about individual opinion, about controversial thoughts, about a different way of seeing things. Are we to pretend like we cannot see how the world is changing, and continue living in this glasshouse we have built for ourselves? We are called to be in this world, but not of this world – that is correct. Being in this world means that we are a part of it; it undeniably affects us and we can affect it in return. But if you choose to deny the very world around you and believe that you are living in a transcendental state of being, I’m afraid life is just going to be harsh.

We are on earth to realize what it means to be human beings, to realize that we are not gods. We are on earth to realize how flawed and dependent and small we are in comparisons to the greater unknowns that unfold themselves around us. The bible warns, that when we feel that we are on top of it all, that we are confident of where our standing is in our relationship with God – be careful! That is when you are most likely to fall.

Because we are humans. And we fall. We’ve fallen, since the beginning of mankind. We keep falling, keep breaking, keep trying to climb back up again. We make it to the top after alot of struggles, feeling that now, finally, everything feels right with God, and that things should just keep getting better from then on.. and then we trip on our pride and we fall again, back down, and we bruise even more. And we will never stop falling. It is a cycle that we need to go through to make us understand our dependence.

So once we are in a stage of life that we feel we are comfortable with the way things are in our Christian life, when we feel that answers come almost too-easily and we take certain biblical truths forgranted, as if there is nothing more to know as long as we know these certain few, beware. Christians never stay comfortable for long, and I think in my life I’ve learnt that more than once the hard way.

We will never be able to fully understand all the truths that are out there, and so there will always be more to know, more to question, more to dig deep into. Our questions are one thing, and answers are another. Sometimes these answers are just a result of culture and tradition; sometimes they are self-constructed from convenience, sometimes they are deducted from logic, or inferred from strands of evidence.

But answers are not truth. And Truths are revealed only by Him who set the earth in motion, who flung the stars into space, who shaped your heart and mine. Truths belong to Him alone, and who are we, mortal beings, to know the secrets of His heart unless the Creator steps down to whisper them softly into our ear?

xx

via samarayork flickr

So to whoever it may concern/or are concerned, for that matter:

I used to be a flower growing in a glasshouse. I am still that same flower, and I am still growing – albeit slowly – but now, loving hands have taken me out of the glasshouse and placed me outside. I no longer see things through a thin panel of glass. I receive my sunlight without a filter. This is the real world now, and I am living in it.

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3 Responses to “Seasons of life”

  1. gid Says:

    forgranted isn’t a word, is it?


  2. […] put out some public declaration of my faith/wave my fists wildly at the world, and the like. Refer here and […]

  3. Debs Says:

    yes it is! isnt it….


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