Life Lessons #4

08/11/2008

It is very important to PURGE negative feelings.

I have come to realize that it is no longer about who is right and wrong, because the issue always lies deeper than that. I honestly cannot be bothered to waste emotion and words that land on deaf ears and a heart that refuses to look out of its own. I just know that self-control has never been so important. And I wish that you could see how much I am trying, that you could see how much you are not – and that you could see how you appear through my eyes.

Wallowing in self pity and dwelling on your problems and insecurities are bearable and human, but not seeing that other people have their own set of problems and insecurities to deal with is just plain selfish.

The thoughts and words that are on the brink of rolling off the tip of my tongue every time, the image of flaming darts that hit you in the places that hurt the most, and sometimes the little bit of fury that I do show put me to shame. For the times that I have given in to my wanton self, I really am sorry. All the more, I thank God every time for the self-control and strength that He gives to me to resist the temptations from the devil. I thank Him for friends that I can rant and ramble and rave and angst-out to online and cheer me up with nothing but their very presence and availability to listen. I thank Him for taking away my bitterness each time. I thank Him for showing me that to some minute measure, I have died to myself, and have been made alive in Christ.

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